The Husband Hammer

It seems single men my age get hammered hard these days. Not that many of us don't deserve it.

However, I'd like to address a particular blog post I came across recently: Warning: Rant Enclosed

As a once-married, now single male, I find posts like these highly discouraging. I live in a world that expects me to be a knight, yet also bombards me with portrayals of men as clowns, idiots, hypocrites, deadbeats, abusers, perverts, and murderers. The messages of the world are negative enough, and many of us have enough reminders of how "unmanly" we are.

The Church doesn't need to add to that weight as well.

Ruth, how can you say that my reluctance to move forward in a relationship puts me "in the loser column with a capital L"?

I'm like any other human being--I still long for the togetherness and fulfillment that a marriage relationship brings. My marriage ended badly; can you blame me if I think twice before swimming again? How many other men struggle just like your sister?

Just because I may reserve myself because of recent history does not mean that I need to "grow a pair."

I understand how unworthy for a mate that I am. Further, I also understand that I could never be worthy on my own. I am a sinner (Rom. 3:23), and I could never make myself a righteous man of God (Rom. 3:10). 

There is only one who can do that. It is Christ, and Christ alone:

“And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses ...” (Col. 2:13, ESV)

I'm not interested in making myself worthy of a mate. I'm interested in the change that Christ can bring about in me. If that makes me worthy of a mate in the long run, wonderful.

Until then, please keep your peeves about men who lack initiative to yourself.

Blessings,
A man trying to heal.